Per my last post, I tailored my life to be as comfortable as possible. I don’t take risks, I don’t push myself too hard and I’ve let routine dominate. At this point, you could say it’s all habit.
The predictability is safe and keeps me comfortable.
But at this point we know it’s something I can’t continue to live with. So getting uncomfortable is something I’ve taken to embracing. Everything that I do out of habit and routine, I’ve decided to inspect. How I spend my time outside of work, how I break up that time for necessities like eating, hygiene and activities. How much time I use as an investment for future goals and plans. Of course at this point, the break up isn’t the best. And I notice it’s due to habits, which were formed to keep pressure off of me.
Dealing with depression in my formative years put a lot of pressure on me. I was constantly drained, mentally and physically. I went through the motions of life because I couldn’t be bothered to be checked in. It was too much to have to think and function when my mind was constantly racing to keep up appearances. All I wanted to do when I had the time to myself was to rest. I be physically and mentally comfortable. I’d lay down and turn on something that would completely distract me. So all my problems in life wouldn’t exist until they did again the next day.
Everyday, I need to do something that makes me uncomfortable, and disturbs the pattern behavior that I’ve had. Overloading is never a good idea. Doing too much too soon is usually overwhelming. It encourages quitting. But I feel giving myself a small push every day would encourage my progress.
Doing anything outside of relaxing can be a challenge for me. Which is why I’ve decided to add habits to my day. I’ve challenged myself to read a book a week, and be done with 52 by the end of the year. I used to read a lot, but I gave up because it was easier to watch TV, and streaming services made then made that even easier. I loved books, and I know I’ll be right at home being a bookworm again. I’ve decided to workout again. I started maybe two years ago, and it makes a huge difference in how I feel. Plus I want to be strong again. I always wanted to be fit enough to survive a zombie apocalypse. That also involves diet. I tried veganism to boost my energy levels, and I will say I did feel lighter on my feet. It was also easier to exercise. I felt better and my workouts were smoother.
By the end of doing these things, I’ve felt better. In the moment it may not be fun, but in the long term, I have my progress to enjoy. There are so many things I need to push myself to do. This month, I’m hoping to jumpstart my lagged off progress from last year.
So here’s to discomfort.
The Grow Up 